New year, strong you

Despite its positive intent, I’ve always thought that the ‘New Year, New You’ idea implies that there’s something wrong with the old you. You’re not thin enough, rich enough, attractive enough, relaxed enough, woke enough (but, if you just lose a stone, buy this new piece of tech, sign up to the latest bootcamp, or order these incredibly cool running shoes, you could be). Worst case scenario, in some of the self-improvement posts I’ve seen from fitness influencers on Instagram this New Year’s weekend it can even capitalise on the most damaging of human emotions – shame.

Whether it is trying to be healthier, getting fit, finding order in a busy world or just learning to treat ourselves a little bit more kindly, it’s helpful to have some goals at the start of a new year. Perhaps you’re hoping to be more organised, take on a new project, focus more on your mental wellbeing or simply take a leap into the unknown career-wise in 2022?

When we look ahead at another 365 days stretching out ahead of us and consider making changes to our lives, many of us accidentally focus almost entirely on what’s wrong with us – our problems, our struggles, our deficiencies and our stressors – and often lose sight of what is good and strong in us. This isn’t just a ‘New Year, New You’ issue; it’s a tendency for many of us all year round and is seen in many workplaces during conversations about personal development (with lots of well-intentioned focus on addressing weaknesses to bring people up to an acceptable standard). Even some sports coaches focus on the eradication of weaknesses and errors at the expense of maximising strengths.

All of this ‘weakness focus’ makes sense when we appreciate that after World War 2, psychology became a science largely devoted to curing illness. As a consequence, a disproportionate amount of studies in psychology focused on psychopathology and factors that make life dysfunctional. In contrast, little research in the years that followed the 1940s focused on the factors that promote psychological wellbeing.

Underlying the weakness focus is the belief that fixing what’s wrong will automatically trigger a decent level of wellbeing. However, as counterintuitive as it may sound, happiness and unhappiness are not on the same continuum – we know this from countless pieces of research and I have certainly witnessed this in my own life. For example, getting rid of anger, fear and depression doesn’t automatically cause peace, love and joy. So, what’s an alternative to the weakness focus, or at least something we can use alongside it?

Instead of approaching my work with clients – and myself! – from a deficit-based perspective of ‘weaknesses’, since training in positive psychology I tend to adopt a strengths-based approach. A commonly used definition of strengths in the field of positive psychology comes from the work of Alex Linley (2008) who says “… a strength is a pre-existing capacity for a particular way of behaving, thinking or feeling that is authentic and energising to the user, and enables optimal functioning, development and performance”.

When we look at it, this isn’t really something all that radical. Good character is something everyone looks for in other people, whether they’re employees, students, friends or potential romantic partners. Often called ‘character strengths’, these are the good qualities that all of us possess; they’re a collection of positive traits that show people’s strengths, rather than a list of their faults and issues.

Simply put, using strengths allows people to do what they do best and feel at their best.

If you are looking at aspects of your life this New Year and thinking about the habits you’d like to leave behind you, the changes you’d like to make in 2022 or things you’d like to improve, I highly recommend you approach this journey from the standpoint of character strengths. Taking a strengths-based approach this January will help you shift your focus from what’s wrong to what’s strong.

To summarise, working with your character strengths can help you to:

• increase your happiness at home and work
• improve your relationships
• discover balance with your health
• increase your performance at work and with any studying you’re doing
• achieve your life goals

Does the idea of New Year, Strong You sound more appealing than the slightly judgement-laden New Year, New You? If so, then I recommend a great starting point for you is to get clear on your own character strengths by taking the free survey hosted by the VIA Institute on Character.

Having done this, if you’d like to work with me on applying your results to the changes you plan to make in 2022, please get in touch and we can have a chat about what you’re looking for. I’d love to hear from you.