When two people learn together, everyone grows

Organisations are full of untapped wisdom. Some of it sits quietly in the experience of senior leaders who’ve weathered decades of change. Some of it lives in the fresh perspectives of newer staff who see the world differently and aren’t afraid to ask why things are done a certain way.

Reciprocal mentoring is one of the few structures that brings those voices together in a way that benefits everyone – individuals, teams and the organisation as a whole.

What makes reciprocal mentoring different

It’s mentoring with the hierarchy turned down. Two people from different backgrounds, grades or life experiences are paired together to mentor each other. Both share their insights, challenges, and experiences – and both listen, learn and grow.

When it’s done well, reciprocal mentoring opens up the kinds of honest conversations that rarely happen in day-to-day work. It helps people see how their assumptions, communication styles, and unconscious biases affect others. It creates connection, empathy, and shared learning – and that’s where change starts to ripple through a culture.

Reverse mentoring versus reciprocal mentoring

Many organisations are already familiar with reverse mentoring, where a junior employee mentors someone more senior – often to share perspectives on technology, diversity or generational issues. It’s a valuable approach that we’ve used with some of Incendo’s client organisations and I’ve seen firsthand that it can spark important insights at senior levels.

However, reverse mentoring can still reinforce a one-directional dynamic. The senior leader is positioned as the learner, while the junior colleague becomes the educator; the hierarchy may be flipped, but the exchange remains a bit uneven.

Reciprocal mentoring goes a step further. It’s a partnership of equals where both people are mentors and mentees. Both parties bring expertise, both share vulnerabilities and both grow. The power balance is intentionally levelled in reciprocal mentoring relationships, which makes the learning deeper, more authentic and more sustainable.

Typical outcomes

Incendo’s reciprocal mentoring training programme – Mutual Growth: Building Skills for Reciprocal Mentoring – delivers both individual development and strategic organisational benefits.

Improved inclusion and belonging – Participants gain insight into lived experiences different from their own, fostering greater empathy and equity across the organisation.

Leadership development at all levels – Participants (especially junior or historically excluded staff) develop skills in leadership, communication and influence.

Stronger cross-organisational relationships – Silos are broken down and diverse voices are integrated into decision-making through authentic two-way dialogue.

Enhanced employee engagement and retention – Taking part in reciprocal mentoring enables people to feel genuinely seen, heard and valued; this often boosts morale and commitment.

Better cultural intelligence and emotional agility – Reciprocal mentoring participants become more skilled at navigating difference with respect and curiosity.

My 5 tips for organisations considering reciprocal mentoring

If you’re wondering whether reciprocal mentoring could work in your organisation, here are five lessons from programmes that succeed – and a few that don’t.

1. Start with clarity of purpose
Be clear about why you’re doing it. Is your goal to build inclusion, connect generations, develop leadership capability or strengthen collaboration? The clearer the purpose, the easier it is to design the right structure and measure the impact.

2. Invest in proper training and support
Pairing people up without preparation rarely works. Mentors need tools, frameworks and confidence to handle sensitive conversations. Incendo’s training programme is comprehensive and yet even a basic training course on reciprocal mentoing should include skills such as active listening, feedback, managing discomfort and understanding difference. Ongoing supervision also makes a big difference to how relationships develop and sustain.

3. Match thoughtfully, not just randomly
I’ve noticed that the best matches aren’t always the most obvious ones. Sometimes pairing people with contrasting experiences or communication styles creates richer learning and stronger connections.

4. Build in reflection and review
Reciprocal mentoring works best when people take time to reflect on what they’re learning and how they’re changing. Encourage journaling, check-ins, or peer discussions so that learning becomes shared and visible.

5. Think long-term, not pilot
The most powerful impact happens when reciprocal mentoring becomes part of the organisation’s rhythm, not a one-off initiative. Keep it alive through recognition, storytelling and by inviting new pairs to join each year.

“When mentoring becomes reciprocal, conversations move from ‘How can I help you?’ to ‘What can we learn from each other?’ That simple shift changes everything.”

When mentoring becomes reciprocal, it builds empathy in leadership, confidence in junior staff and collective responsibility for inclusion and growth. As one of our course participants reflected, “I joined to support someone else, but I left seeing my own blind spots more clearly.”

That’s the beauty of reciprocal mentoring: it creates mutual growth – for the individual, the relationship and the organisation.