by Justin Standfield
When people talk about narcissism, the images that often come to mind are those of vain individuals obsessed with their appearance. However, narcissism isn’t limited to our personal lives; it can also infiltrate the professional sphere, wreaking havoc on workplace dynamics. During my career, I have worked with a few of these ‘workplace narcissists’ and I remember these experiences as being a mixture of confusion, frustration, unfairness and – at times – helplessness. In this blog article, I’ll delve a little deeper into the topic, highlighting the signs of narcissism to look for, the impact it has on other people and discovering what we can do to cope with it if we find ourselves affected by a colleague’s narcissistic behaviours. Something that I won’t be covering here are the many reasons why someone ends up using narcissistic behaviours; the research behind it is complex and evolving all the time, and is better suited for discussion by a more specialised professional than me!
Before I begin, I’ll also just add that I’m writing about narcissistic traits and behaviours in this article, rather than Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Some of the signs of narcissism in the workplace
Exaggerated self-importance: Narcissistic individuals in the workplace often display an overwhelming sense of superiority; in the literature about narcissism, it’s usually referred to as ‘grandiosity’. They believe that they’re more important and deserving of special treatment compared to their colleagues, and they’ll typically demonstrate this through their communication, behaviours and grandiose attitude.
Lack of empathy: Another sign of narcissism in the workplace is the individual’s inability to empathise with others. They may disregard the feelings and needs of their colleagues, focusing solely on their own agenda, their own ambitions, feelings and desires.
Constant need for recognition: Narcissists crave attention and validation. They constantly seek praise and recognition for their achievements, even if it comes at the expense of others. Within the field of narcissism studies, this stream of validation that fuels someone with these tendencies is known as ‘narcissistic supply’.
Manipulative behaviour: Narcissistic people will often manipulate situations and people to serve their own interests. They may engage in tactics such as gaslighting, spreading subtle (or not-so-subtle!) rumours, or undermining the work of others.
Exploitation of others: Colleagues exhibiting narcissistic traits will sometimes have a tendency to exploit others for their own personal gain. They may take credit for someone else’s work, use others as stepping stones to climb the corporate ladder or take advantage of their colleagues’ skills and resources without offering fair compensation or acknowledgment.
The impact of narcissism on workplace dynamics
The presence of narcissistic people in the workplace can have detrimental effects on both individuals and the overall team. Some of the commonly observed impacts include:
Decreased morale: Constantly being around a narcissist can lead to low morale among colleagues. The relentless self-centeredness and lack of empathy can create an unpleasant and toxic work environment. Additionally, narcissistic individuals are often manipulative, which can lead to dysfunctional communication and issues with teamwork. This can hinder productivity and collaboration within the workplace.
Dysfunctional communication: Communication breakdowns are common when dealing with narcissistic individuals, because they have a way of manipulating and controlling conversations. For example, they usually like to dominate discussions, dismiss other people’s ideas and refuse to listen to feedback or criticism. The presence of a narcissist can lead to decreased trust among team members – the manipulative and exploitative nature of narcissistic individuals can create a sense of betrayal and resentment within the team.
Undermining teamwork: Given the first two points above, it will be no surprise to learn that there’s a negative effect on teamwork. This is because narcissists often prioritise their personal goals over the success of the team, plus those with more extreme traits might engage in sabotage and backstabbing, or even create conflicts within the group to eliminate competition or assert their dominance. This can result in a lack of cooperation and collaboration, hindering the team’s ability to work effectively towards common goals.
Stifled creativity and innovation: Narcissists tend to dismiss or belittle ideas that are not their own, which hinders creativity and innovation within the workplace; this is especially damaging if the person with the narcissistic tendencies is in any sort of leadership position. This can be detrimental to the overall growth and progress of the team and organisation.
In addition to the negative impact on individuals, narcissism in the workplace can also have damaging effects on overall organisational performance. The constant need for recognition and validation by narcissistic individuals can create a culture of competition rather than collaboration. This can prevent the sharing of ideas, knowledge, and resources, limiting innovation and stifling continuous improvement efforts within the organisation.
Coping strategies for dealing with workplace narcissism
Set decent boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the narcissistic individual to protect yourself from their manipulative behaviour. Clearly communicate your expectations and reinforce them consistently.
Focus on self-care: Prioritise self-care to maintain your mental and emotional wellbeing; a simple way to do this is to engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax outside of work. This will vary from person to person, of course, but some things that have been proven to help include: reading, gardening, exercise, cooking, listening to music, meditation, talking with friends.
Seek support: Seek support from trusted colleagues or mentors who can provide guidance and validation in dealing with workplace narcissism. Use such people as a sounding board to check out your reactions to what you’re experiencing at work.
Document incidents: Keep a record of any incidents or negative interactions with the narcissistic individual. This will help you maintain clarity and provide evidence if needed in the future (e.g. if things worsen and an HR process is initiated).
Stay professional: Despite the difficult circumstances, make a conscious effort to remain professional and focused on your work. It can be helpful to vent or share experiences with others who may be facing similar challenges; however, avoid engaging in gossip or confrontations that may escalate the situation.
Consider seeking professional help: If your mental health starts being affected, please think about accessing professional help, such as therapy or counselling, to navigate the challenges of dealing with workplace narcissism. A trained professional can provide strategies and support to help you cope with the situation. Remember that you are not alone and it’s important to prioritise your wellbeing in any work environment.
Implement some self-validation: Remind yourself of your own worth and accomplishments, independent of your narcissistic colleague’s opinions or recognition. Practice self-affirmation and seek validation from within rather than relying solely on external sources.
Practise assertiveness: Develop assertiveness skills to protect yourself from the manipulative tactics of narcissistic individuals. Learn how to assert your needs and boundaries in a respectful but firm manner at work.
Use the ‘grey rock’ technique: The ‘grey rock’ technique is a strategy commonly recommended for dealing with a narcissist. It involves becoming as dull and uninteresting as a grey rock in order to reduce the narcissist’s interest and engage in minimal interaction with them. The idea behind this technique is to starve the narcissist of the attention and supply they constantly seek, which can help protect your own mental and emotional wellbeing. By staying calm, unreactive, and non-engaging, people using the grey rock technique aim to create a boundary and establish a sense of distance from the narcissist’s manipulative behaviours.
It’s important to remember that not all of the above recommended techniques will work in all situations, and seeking professional guidance is still something that I’d advise people to consider when dealing with a narcissistic individual at work.
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